I can't believe it. So there I was, Mate. I had my dick in my hand, and I was about to proper whack off, when an 18 year old sheila knocked on me door. I don't normally write to Penthouse, but I had to tell you this remahrkable stawry..I am not just taking the piss. Her mum and her wanted to come in an' bawrrow a cup of sugar. I told her I didn't have any and I was having a wank, so she should fuck off back where she come from. Anyway, jerking off was a right bonzer. Do you have a coldie?
Have a Good One, Mate.
-An Erotic Short Story by Crocodile Davidson