Chapter 2

Anna Kalnina:

When Jakub and I were rescued, we found ourselves for the first time in a safe place with adults who cared about us. I was an orphan, and Jakub’s family were so poor they were forced to sell him. While we were with the traffickers as I’ve now come to describe them, we turned to each other for comfort. In case you were wondering – no sex. We cuddled together when we could, consoled each other when we’d had a particularly unpleasant encounter, that sort of thing. At first, it was just hugs and crying together, as we had no common language. Of course, we picked up words we both could understand, but even without that we had physical things – body language, contact.

We had no idea where in the world we were except that most of the men who used us spoke English, but we supported each other until we were separated. I didn’t know what happened to Jakub and, in my way, I mourned for him, for our friendship. In due course, though, I was in a big house with some others and something strange was happening. One of the men dragged me out of the house and held me in front of him. There was a sharp crack and he collapsed, releasing me. I ran. I had no idea where I was going, I just ran. It seemed like a long way, but apparently it wasn’t, before I was stopped by another girl. She was in army clothes. She spoke to me in English, then in Russian.

“I am Yelka,” she said, “come with me, and you will be safe. Your captors are being dealt with.”

I argued a bit, but honestly, I had no idea what else to do, so in the end I followed her to a tent which overlooked the house. It, too, was blotchy green, brown and grey, and was hard to see on the hillside. We crawled inside. There was a man there with a rifle, and a boy. Yelka began to introduce them – ‘Papa Jerry, and Jakub... ‘

“Jakub?!”

“Anna!”

Suddenly Jakub and I were locked together. I was crying, he was crying. But the tears were an expression of joy, only alloyed by fear of being recaptured. The man was talking on some sort of radio, but put it away and spoke to Yelka. She began to heat food.

The meal wasn’t exciting, but it was hot, and better than I’d had with those men. There was tea, which it seemed I hadn’t had for years. We had to do our business outside in a little hole behind the tent, then I squeezed into a sleeping bag with Jakub. In the morning – the early morning, we were woken, had something to eat, then packed up. We all carried something. I thought Yelka and ‘Papa Jerry’ were carrying the most by far. We had to carry everything a long way, I suppose maybe a Kilometre, to an old bus. Yelka called it a ‘campervan’.

We rode in that ‘campervan’ for about three hours. Yelka explained that the clothes I was wearing would raise questions if we stopped on the way. I could understand that. The beginning and end of the journey was along narrow roads. From time to time I got glimpses of water. At length we arrived at a gate which opened at our approach, and ‘Papa Jerry’ drove up a track and stopped in front of a house. Everyone got out, and the door of the house opened to reveal a woman. A pretty woman. A woman naked except for a collar.

Yelka ran to her, followed by ‘Papa Jerry’ and embraced her. Jakub grabbed my hand and pulled me over after them. When Yelka released the woman, the man embraced her briefly, but I could see that they both would have liked to prolong the contact. A girl appeared who looked just like Yelka and they hugged too, but Jakub was hugging the woman.

“Mama Sally, this is my friend Anna!” (I didn’t understand properly, of course).

Suddenly, I was in her arms. Warm. Sweet smell. Smooth skin over toned muscles.

“Добро пожаловать в наш дом, Анна”. (Welcome to our home, Anna) It was overwhelming.

In the morning, after sleeping well in Jakub’s arms, we made our way to the kitchen for breakfast. After that, though, Jakub was dragging me out of the house and up a slope to a patch of vegetables. At that point we still didn’t have much in the way of common language, but I gathered that this was his garden, and he was proud of it.

“Tas ir skaists dārzs, Jakub,” (it’s a beautiful garden Jakub). Not that I thought it particularly beautiful, but it was the best I could do, and he couldn’t understand it anyway, except for the approving tone.

“You must learn English, Anna.” was his response. He turned to lead me back to the house, but not before looking over his shoulder at the plants.

It was more of a home than I’d had since my parents died, perhaps even before. I was treated like a loved daughter, and I slept cuddling with Jakub. I learned to shoot an ‘air pistol’ and some ‘unarmed combat’, too. I learned that the relationships in the house were unusual. It seemed that ‘Mama Sally’ liked being spanked. That seemed strange, but the love between all of them was obvious.

We hadn’t been there long when we were visited and interviewed. In my case, blood-tests were taken and I was examined. Both Jakub and I were willing to help stop the men who had taken us, abused us, and forced us to co-operate with sex acts. I didn’t want to leave this new home, but at least I would be with Jakub.

We were interviewed intensely. Everyone was kind, actually, but going over everything which had happened to us, which had been done to us, which we had been forced to participate in, that was painful. Harrowing. But we were fed well, dressed well in clothes we liked, that were appropriate to our age, and given tuition in English. Jakub had more than I at the beginning, but soon we were almost fluent.

Medical tests, lots of them. I was clear, but told I would need regular tests for HIV. My depo, which the traffickers had given me, was replaced by an IUD, so I would be experiencing periods. They told me if I had any difficulties, it could be removed and the Pill substituted. Both Jakub and I were given Covid vaccinations, even though that hadn’t been authorised for younger people.

Finally, we had, we were told, given them all the information they could extract. They would find suitable homes for us. We were together as they told us that, sitting on a sofa and holding hands.

“Could we go back to Mama Sally and Papa Jerry?” Jakub asked that, tentatively.

Mister Schraeder looked at me and lifted an eyebrow. “I would like that,” I said. “I want to stay with Jakub, please.”

“I think it is very likely that could happen. I will ask,” he said, smiling.

There was a hiatus – lovely word, don’t you think? Studying English, it’s interesting to see how language has developed and assimilated different words. So there was a hiatus. Where we were, we couldn’t go out unattended, but there were facilities we could use, including a swimming pool. Neither of us were strong swimmers, but we worked on that.

The day came. Yusuf Babaoğlu and Dagnija Ozoliņš escorted us to a large car. They would share the driving, Yusuf informed us. It was good, I thought, that we each had someone who could speak our native language, but I told Dagnija we ought to work on thinking in English. She smiled.

“Very sensible,” she said in an approving tone. “We just thought it would be good to be able to fill in any gaps as we talked. So I will sit in the back with you, and Jakub will sit in the front with Yusuf, so we can talk easily.”

Jakub and I looked at each other. I didn’t want to be separated from my friend. But after several seconds thought, he said, “We, we can manage that, can’t we, Anna?”

“I suppose so,” I almost forced that out, very reluctantly.

“If that is going to be difficult...” Dagnija said, gently.

“No,” I shook my head, “you are right.”

It seemed like a long drive. Because of the risk of infection, despite restrictions having been lifted at the time, we had packed food, and only used the toilets when we stopped. But in time I recognised the country we were driving through, and the narrow roads. I couldn’t describe what I was feeling at the time, but now, since I have been reading English literature, I would say ‘my heart rose’. Stopping to let the gate open for us, I was excited. We stopped in front of the house and the door opened; there was Mama Sally, holding the baby, and Yelka and Lena. Jakub and I rushed to them, and we all hugged. I felt safe, comfortable. I was, I was... home.

Yes, I felt at home. I still leant on my relationship with Jakub, but I felt at home. I was aware, though, of a difference in the way Yelka and Lena related to the two adults in the house. I talked to Yelka.

“You need to snuggle with Papa Jerry,” she told me. “Jakub does. Lena does, and I do. Tonight, go and sit on his lap instead of leaning against Jakub while he leans on Papa Jerry.”

And so it was. After supper, prompted by Yelka, I tentatively settled on his lap. I, well, it was almost made myself lean against him. But that felt good. I could smell him: warm, clean man, not like the men who used me. Them, I didn’t like the smell, not even when they’d bathed, somehow. He didn’t grab me, or hold me tightly. After a few minutes, I took an arm and wrapped it round me, then the other. Then, I understood. This was love. Accepting, caring, giving, undemanding ... love. I relaxed.

It was a shock when he gently shook me awake: I’d actually gone to sleep in his arms!

“I think, Sweetheart, you should go to bed, don’t you?”

I snuggled in his arms, sleepily, I admit. “I love you, Papa Jerry,” I said.

“And I love you, Anna. I’m very happy you wanted to come back here.”

It was almost difficult to get up and leave him, but Jakub came and held out his hand. I took it, and something clicked in my head.

Later that night, I woke in Jakub’s arms, aware of an ache in my midsection, and the pressure of a bulge in his crotch. Could it be ... Surely, neither of us had any interest in sex. Did we? Did I?

At breakfast, I had a lot to think about, so I didn’t speak except ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.

I went with Jakub to help tend his garden: I knew what it meant to him, and I was really the only person allowed to help. Mama Sally was allowed to take produce – lettuce, perhaps, potatoes, radishes, courgettes – when she needed to for the kitchen, but no one else. I was permitted to water, hoe and weed, carefully and under supervision. I was conscious of the privilege. “Jakub...”

“Evet, aşkım?” pause, “yes, my love?”

“Am I? Your love?”

He took my hands in his. “I love Mama Sally, Papa Jerry, Yelka and Lena, but you are special.”

“Do you think...” I trailed off, my eyes on his.

“You are in my heart and in my thoughts.” He was silent, gazing into my eyes. “We have been changed, my love. Changed by being taken away from our homes, changed by what has been done to us. I cannot imagine being able to live close to anyone who cannot understand, and there is no-one who can understand better than you.”

That was the most I’ve ever heard Jakub say at one time, and the deepest he’d spoken of our relationship. I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it again without making a sound.

He smiled. “I think, sweet Anna, there will be no other woman in the world for me but you. Whatever else we are to each other, I do not want to be parted from you.”