Chapter 14: Changing, It’s All New

New Challenges

January 17^th – 19^th, 2000

Angie and I had an early breakfast, since I had to be over at Sue’s studio by 7:30 for some work in the sound recording rooms, doing the audio dubbing of the videos that we had taken last week. This week was going to be busy, after lunch I was calling into my office at St Leonards, and I wanted to talk to Alexa, catch up with her. I felt it was time for me to get a new car; I was thinking about a Land Rover Discovery. David Parsons had one of those, he had used that to tow the trailer with all of Cathy’s personal belongings up from Canberra, and I was impressed with how it looked.

My appointment with Doctor Sleigh had been put back to Tuesday afternoon, and I had a meeting on Friday morning – I would hope the final Y2K meeting with John Martin and the State Cabinet to deliver our final report on the project. In between those tasks I had to rehearse for both the group and next week’s final video sessions. The new Korg keyboard and accessories would be being delivered on Friday afternoon, all going well, so I would have to familiarize myself with that, too. At some stage later in the week, the new furniture would be ready, the ‘magic table’ that would transform the breakfast bar into a useable table for four people, plus the new wall unit. Also, the new lighting for the living room area would be ready, and I would have to install that, plus the last of the light switches and power outlets in that room.

The new Internet data line would be installed sometime this week, so I would have to spend time in the lab at the office configuring a suitable Internet appliance and Wi-Fi gateway for the apartment. I was looking forward to playing with some Wi-Fi adapters, configuring them on my computer and making sure they would work properly, particularly when Jenny arrived.

What I had been ignoring was the revelations from both Cathy and Megan, I really had no idea how to respond to them. I certainly didn’t want to encourage either of them to rekindle a romantic relationship; Cathy because I felt she really didn’t want me – or any other man – as a life-long romantic partner, and Megan because ... well, I suspected that we had both changed too much to get back what we had in the late 1970s. But both of those things were something that I wanted to talk to Margaret about and get her perspective on them.

“This was meant to be a time for you to relax with that big Y2K project finished,” Angie said. “You’re not getting all that much relaxation, are you?”

“True, but I enjoy keeping busy,” I said.

“Hmm,” she replied, sounding unconvinced. “You need to allow yourself time to rejuvenate. It won’t be all that long before your next big project starts, and you will be wishing you took the time to unwind, but then it will be too late to take a few weeks off and do nothing, you’ll be too busy on the next project. Once the final few days filming is finished, I’m going to tell Sue that you are to do absolutely nothing, do you hear!”

“Okay, that sounds fair enough,” I said. “The only thing I’m doing with her this week is recording the audio for the videos we did last week, overdubbing with good quality audio. It’s not all that difficult, I’ve done heaps of studio work, it can’t be any more difficult that recording an album.”

“All right, just don’t overdo things,” she said. I’ll see you this evening, have a good day, and give Sue a big kiss for me.”

I kissed her goodbye, took the elevator down to the car park, and drove over to Sue’s office. Once inside, she took me to one of the sound booths, where Darryl was setting up some equipment.

“Hey, Will, good to see you,” Darryl said. “You should be pretty familiar with audio recording processes, of course everything we do is all digital, we have computers running what they call a ‘Digital Audio Workbench’, you’ll probably find the next time you guys record an album, it’s all digital, no tape involved.

“The audio from the mike goes through a compressor, as would usually be the case, then a graphic equalizer, and it’s digitized, and stored on a file server. Now, what we do with the audio on the recordings, we keep the audio that we recorded with the video information, that will have the background sounds that we want. But today, we are re-recording your speech parts; even with the best of intentions, the actual sound quality isn’t all that good. Levels vary too much, and the voice may not be as clear as possible, so we overdub it here in the studio. The final stage is what we call the ‘Foley’ step, where sound effects are added. As strange as it might seem, the foley effects of someone walking on a wooden floor sound ‘better’ than trying to get the actual sounds as they are made, for example.”

He then showed me how we would dub over my voice parts, there would be a monitor showing the video, and I could hear the live audio. I could put the timestamps of the start and end of each section on my script, so I would have a guide to help synchronize my words with the actual recordings.

“As long as you are reasonably close to the original words with timing,” he said, “that’s good enough. A hundred milliseconds aren’t discernible, not enough to make it sound strange.”

Once I was settled into my chair in the studio, he did some audio tests, getting the levels and equalizer setting to his liking. I then sat at the desk where I could watch the monitor as each video played and record my lines again. Of course, recording my voice using a studio microphone setup was very familiar to me, and what I would do is play through each video, making notes on my copy of my lines, writing down the timestamps of where each section started and stopped, where I would pause, and where I wanted particular emphasis. Then it was just a case of playing back the video while I re-read my lines, making sure I followed the cue marks that I had made. It was a fairly simple process, and by the time we broke for lunch we had gone through half of last week’s videos.

Darryl was happy with the result, and commented to Sue that it was a pleasant change working with what he called ‘a professional person experienced in the recording process’. I guess all my years of experience in recording studios and performing on stage helped me in this process.

“That’s probably enough for today,” Sue said. “We should be able to finish the rest tomorrow, when you are fresh and have given your voice a chance to rest.”

“Sounds good to me, I’ll see you all tomorrow morning, same bat-time, same bat-channel!” I said, gathering my notes before I left.

It was a short drive to the office at St Leonards, I parked in my space under the building, and took the elevator to my office, sticking my head in Mary Beth’s door to say hello.

“So, how’s the big movie star? Going to toss another shrimp on the barbie?” she said, jokingly.

“That was one phrase that I was expressly forbidden from uttering,” I said. “Seriously, it’s going well, it’s a lot of fun, and there’s just a few more videos to be recorded. They will get done next week, at various locations around the state.”

“Once that’s done, I’m ordering you to take at least four weeks off, doing nothing,” she said. “I understand on Friday, you are presenting the final report on the Y2K project to Cabinet?” I nodded. “Good, so that officially finishes that project. Before you start on the next big project, I want you to have a good rest. We don’t need you burning yourself out, Will.”

“Sounds like you’ve been talking to Angie,” I said. “She told me pretty much the same thing this morning.”

“Well, she did mention that she was concerned about you, but I’m not telling you that because she talked to me. We’ve all been worried about you, Michelle, Garry, David, and me. You’re not going to be any good to us or our clients if you have a nervous breakdown or drive yourself into the hospital.”

“Okay, I promise to slow down, take things easier,” I said. “There’s a bunch of stuff I’ll be talking about with Doctor Sleigh tomorrow afternoon, and how to make my life simpler and less chaotic is one of them.”

“That will be a good start,” she said. “And you can also make time to get back to meeting with your close friends on a regular basis. I know you’ve been busy with Angie, but you’ve been ignoring us, again.”

“I know I’ve made that mistake again,” I said. “I’m trying to do better, and not fall back into my old, self-destructive habits, but it’s not easy.”

“I can understand that, Will,” she said, reaching across to hold my hand and give it a squeeze. “I will keep nagging you, keep asking you to meet with me on a regular basis. Now, I’ll let you catch up with things in your office, I don’t believe there’s anything there that needs your immediate attention.”

I went into my office, Mary Beth was right, there was nothing on my desk that needed my attention. I booted my computer up, and checked my email, before I had finished up at the State Office Block, I had set my will.morris@itsd.nsw.gov.au email address to my company email address, will@wtmconsulting.com.au. Except for a few spam messages, there was nothing there for me. At least I didn’t have to contend with Cathy or Megan proclaiming their undying love for me.

Time for me to head upstairs and see Alexa, since I hadn’t heard from her after New Year’s Day, I assumed that there had been no problems with any of the Bitola computer systems relating to the Y2K issue. It would be good to catch up with her and see if there was anything she was wanting from me. I enjoyed talking with her, I would usually learn something new about her or the Bitola community.

I knocked on her office door, and she came over to me, gave me a big hug, and a sizzling kiss.

“Will! It’s so good to see you!” she said. “Please, come in and sit down here, you are looking really good. How are things going? How is life with your new girlfriend? Tell me all about these videos you are making.”

She finally gave me a chance to sit down and catch my breath, she apologised for the non-stop barrage of questions.

“Well, things are going pretty good, life with Angie is great, the videos are fun to make, and the Y2K project with the State Government was a success. I assume there weren’t any problems with your computer systems here?”

“No, your people had everything fixed for us long before the New Year,” she said. “There was only one glitch, and that was with one of Frank’s security systems, a customer still had some very old control systems, and they locked up when the calendar ticked over.”

“I thought he sent out warning letters to all of the customers that were still running the old equipment?” I said.

“He did, and this customer was very apologetic when he called in about the problem, he said he didn’t think his equipment was going to fail. Despite the letter identifying the model numbers, when it was sold, and where Frank’s records indicated it had been installed. You can give as much information to people as you have, but unless they act on it properly, it doesn’t matter. That was quickly resolved, and the customer was so embarrassed about causing the problem that he signed up for a new system on the spot.”

“Well, us computer people can do everything possible, reprogramming systems, making sure people know what will work, and what won’t work, but if people don’t listen and take the advice from those who know what they are talking about...”

“True. You can lead a horse to water, but...” she replied.

“I think it’s about time I bought another car, the Suzuki, while it’s fun, is too small, can’t tow a trailer, and leaks in the rain. I have been thinking about a Land Rover Discovery, my friend David Parsons – Cathy’s twin brother, from Canberra - has one, and I had a good look at it the other week. It looks like just what I need, and the price is around what I was prepared to pay.”

“A Land Rover?” she replied. “Let me make a call, do you know Alto Motors, just up on the Highway at Artarmon? I know the sales manager, Tim Bell, let me make a call.”

She looked through her Rolodex, then made a call. I heard her say that she had a close friend, one of the ‘cousins’, who was looking to buy a Discovery. She asked me if I wanted a petrol or diesel engine, and what trim level. I told her petrol, and probably the LT or HSE trim levels. I would also want a full towing package installed.

“Okay, I told him you’ll see him there just after lunchtime tomorrow,” she said. “Remember the standard greeting, and he’ll give you a good price.”

“Thanks for that, Alexa, I am getting even deeper in debt to you,” I said.

“Not at all, Will, you’ve done so much for me, the company, and our society,” she said. “Getting that secure email software written, that I’ve been using with Lori, and some others, you don’t know what a relief it is to be able to exchange some pretty sensitive information without risk of it being intercepted. I know Lori sent you the background to what happened to her, and what she’s discovered. It’s great, having my own personal IT consultant that I can call on whenever I need some advice.”

“And it all started because your brothers were going to refurbish the first place I rented in Erskineville,” I said.

“True, just a random chance meeting, and look where it’s led to. Along those lines, what are you going to do about those terraces houses in Balmain?”

“I’m meeting with Chris, Paul and Ian Craig on site, Wednesday afternoon,” I said. “Assuming they don’t see any red flags, and the asking price is reasonable, I’ll buy the block of them, get Ian to come up with a good design for all of them, and your brothers can do the refurbishing.”

“Will you rent them all? Sell any? Keep one for yourself?” she asked.

“One option is to have one of them done for me, but that really depends on what I see as my longer-term future with Angie,” I said. “I know Doctor Sleigh will be challenging me on what I want long term with my life; I guess having one that I could make my own place keeps some options open.”

“I guess that makes sense,” she said. “It’s still only fairly recent since, Lisa, well, you know ... You don’t want to lock yourself into something until you are sure that’s exactly what you want.”

“Keeping my options open? Yeah, that’s what is in the back of my mind.”

“I think living in Balmain would be more to your liking than where you are in the Eastern Suburbs, all those posh shops and hoity-toity rich people,” she said. “Balmain hasn’t been taken over by the yuppies, at least not yet. You haven’t been over to my new apartment at Simmons Point, you’ll have to come over for dinner one evening, you and Angie, so I can get to meet her properly.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I said. “Maybe at the end of the month, or in early February. Give me a chance to see what things are coming up, particularly with the group’s rehearsals, and we can set a date.”

“And unless you want her to know all the details about our past relationship, Angie doesn’t need to know everything that you and I have got up to,” she said. “I can understand if you want to keep our relationship at just a purely professional, business level.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” I said. “Keeping things at that level has worked for the last fourteen or fifteen months, and it avoids any potential misunderstandings or future problems. It’s not as if I’m lacking any sex at the moment, either, in fact, I have more than I can deal with at times!”

“Will Morris is getting an excessive amount of sex! That’s a turn-up for the books!” she said, teasing me. “As long as you are happy, and not likely to end up getting hurt, I’m happy for you. Just make sure you know what you are getting into, and not just blindly drifting along through life.”

“You sound like my counsellor,” I said.

“That’s only because I care for you, Will,” she said. “A lot of us care for you.”

“I know, and I really appreciate it; even if sometimes I may not show it.”

“You take care, Will, and make sure you call in and talk with me every week or two,” she said. “It’s been too long since we’ve had our regular meetings – and yes, just a professional business meeting, where you can answer any of my computer-related questions.”

I kissed her on each cheek before leaving to go home, it had been a long day, first with the morning in the sound studio, then meetings at work. Tomorrow would be much the same, recording in the morning, then the car dealer after lunch, before my rescheduled session with Doctor Sleigh. I really hadn’t spent much time going over the homework that she had set me from our last session, I had just been too busy. She had told me to think about what I would want for my long-term life objectives, and how I would respond if either Lori or Megan (or both!) wanted to resume a romantic relationship with me. Frankly, I really had been too busy to think about either of those topics, and then there was the added complexity of both Cathy and Megan saying how they still loved me. Life seemed to be getting far too complicated.

I had an early night, after a pleasant dinner with Angie, telling her all about the recording work, and how I would be looking at cars tomorrow. She wanted to know if I could possibly get one for an overnight test drive, so she could see what it looked like, and I told her I would ask the salesperson if that could be arranged.

After having breakfast, I dropped Angie off in the city before driving up to Willoughby, to Sue’s business. When I checked in, she showed me the schedule for the morning’s recordings, which would be the remaining videos from around Sydney.

“Hey, Will, can I ask you a question about that guy Bob, who works with you,” she said. “What do you know about him?”

“Bob Graham?” I replied. “He works for the State Government, as the manager of the communications centre in the State Office Block. Nice guy, originally from South Africa, where he was treated pretty poorly under their Apartheid system, since he’s what they call a ‘Cape Coloured’. Sadly, his wife was killed by the police, in some protest; I don’t know the full story, but that was what prompted him to migrate to Australia, he was targeted by the authorities, and sought asylum here. Why do you ask?”

“Well, he and I were talking at that New Year’s Eve function, and he called me yesterday to ask if I would like to have dinner with him,” she replied. “Damn, that’s so sad about his wife, thanks for letting me know. That way I won’t put my foot in it, asking things that probably have a very upsetting memory for him. Do you think I should go out with him? I told him that I would think about it and call him back today.”

“Did the two of you get on well at the NYE party? I guess you must have, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked you out. I mean, what do you have to lose going out with him; he’s a very nice guy, intelligent, he’s got a good job with the State; I’m sure even if it doesn’t lead to anything further, it would be an enjoyable evening. Why would you NOT go out with him?”

“I guess so, it’s just that, well, apart from you and Angie, and Jenny, of course, I’ve not been out on a date for so long, and I’m scared I will say something stupid, or somehow ruin it.”

“Just be yourself; the two of you clearly hit it off the other week. I don’t know what else I can say, except have a great time, enjoy yourself, I mean, what is the downside to going out with him?”

“We did get on well at that party, I thought that he was a really nice, smart guy. You’re right, I can’t see any downside to going out with him; I’m just a bit nervous about the thought ... I’ll call him back once you get started this morning.”

“I hope things work out, I really like Bob, he’s had a pretty tough life, and it’s about time he had something good happen for him.”

I headed down to the recording studio and spent the next four hours re-recording the voice track for the remainder of the videos, there were just two left that Monica would have to do with me, and that was scheduled for tomorrow morning. Once I had finished the recording, I drove down to the car dealer that Alexa had arranged for me and asked for the sales manager. When he came out and introduced himself to me, I shook his hand.

“Tim? Will Morris, Uncle Phillip sent me,” I said.

“Nice to meet you, Will, how is the old guy doing?” he replied.

“He’s pretty good, considering anything,” I responded.

“So, you’re interested in a Land Rover Discovery? Let me get one of our sales guys to show you what we have.”

He called over one of the other salesmen and told him that I was interested in a Discovery. “He gets my manager’s deal, as I told you this morning,” he said to the salesperson.

The salesperson – George Evans – led me out to the lot, and showed me one of their demonstrator vehicles, which had the specifications that I wanted. I found it very comfortable to sit in, the additional height made for good visibility, and we took it for a drive around the block. Despite it being much, much larger than the Suzuki, I found it easy to handle, the steering was precise, and the gear changing – well, it was an automatic transmission – was easy. I asked about a manual transmission, but he said that the advanced control systems – the Traction Control System and the Hill Descent Control System – would only work with the automatic transmission.

“We can get a centre diff lock added to it,” he said. “That gives a great level of control, particularly in muddy and icy conditions.”

I was very happy with the vehicle, and once we were back at the dealership I asked about the availability of a proper towing package, which he said they could easily fit, and it included transmission cooling ‘radiators’ for the automatic transmission and the transfer case fluids. Tim came over and asked me how I felt about the vehicle, and I told him I thought it was pretty good, but I would like the opportunity to let my girlfriend travel in it.

“Take it overnight, and come back tomorrow afternoon, you really need to have a good drive in it, experience how it handles, and make sure she likes it,” he said. I understand you want the full towing package; I’ve had a quick look at the Suzuki Sierra you have – I assume you would be trading that in?”

“Yes, I won’t need two cars,” I said. “I assume this one is the only one you have available. I’m just not too sure about the black colour.”

“We’ve got one in a dark red, almost a maroon colour, it’s got the slate grey leather upholstery. Do you want to see that one?”

He showed me what the final price would be, after the trade, and with the towing package included, it was under $30,000, which was considerably less than I had expected.

“That price works for me, I can arrange for a holding deposit when I come back tomorrow, would five thousand do? When the towing package is installed, I’ll pay the balance when I pick it up.”

“George, that other demo, is that ready for Mr Morris to take for the afternoon?” Tim said to him. “Will, let’s come out and look at that, and George will have the paperwork ready for you to sign, and you can take the vehicle overnight, to make sure you – and your girlfriend – like it.”

The colour of the other vehicle was more to my liking, it had all the features that I wanted, the same powerful V8 engine, the same level of finish, the same comfortable leather upholstery. Back inside, I signed a few forms, and drove across to RNS for my appointment with Doctor Sleigh. While it wasn’t that far to drive, I did enjoy that kilometre or two to my destination. I parked next to the professional office building and walked up to Doctor Sleigh’s office. I was about twenty minutes early, and I took a seat in the waiting room; after a few minutes Doctor Sleigh emerged from her room and told me that I could come in for my session.

Once I was settled into my position on the sofa, and a cup of coffee had been provided, Margaret asked me how things were going.

“I get the feeling you have been very busy, despite the Y2K project having come to a successful conclusion,” she said. “Why don’t you tell me what’s been going on in your life over the last few weeks?”

I gave her a summary, covering how things had been with Angie, Sue, and Jenny, assisting with the apartment renovations, the successful completion of the Y2K project, Cathy’s return, the band’s rehearsal sessions, the video work, and my most recent acquisition. As I was going through everything, I started wondering how I managed to fit everything in. I didn’t mention the possible purchase of the row of terrace houses in Balmain, or the revelations from Cathy and Megan.

“You have been busy, very busy,” she said. “Considering you have just finished a very intense, eighteen-month project, and you really should be winding down and taking the opportunity to relax before your next work project starts. You are risking burning yourself out; I hope the next time we have a session you’ll be able to tell me how relaxed and refreshed you feel, after a week or two of doing nothing.”

“Strange, that’s what Angie and Mary Beth have been telling me, that I need to relax and do nothing,” I said.

“They are right,” she said, firmly. “And don’t you roll your eyes at me, Will Morris, I know just what you are doing. I am being completely serious here, Will; you need to take this time to recharge. You’ve been very busy on the Y2K project, it was quite intense with a lot of pressure, and you have the music things restarting, culminating in the Games opening ceremony. There’s also your next big project starting in March; you’re not invulnerable, you’re not superman. You need to learn how to say ‘no’ to requests, it is unrealistic to expect to be able to take on everything that’s asked of you. Now, what else has been going on in your life since we last saw each other?”

I told her about what both Cathy and Megan had told me, saying I wasn’t sure what do to and how to respond to them.

“Well, I’m going out on a limb here with them, since all I know is what you’ve told me, but let’s consider Cathy’s situation and what she emailed you from London first. Look at everything she’s been through, first the divorce and losing custody of her children, then essentially being shafted by the new Federal Government, quitting what she always considered was her ‘dream job’, the breakup of her most recent relationship, moving back to Sydney, and having to start a new job. She’s suffering from a form of PTSD – post-traumatic stress disorder.”

“But I thought that only affected military people and was a new name for what was called ‘shell shock’,” I said.

“Not at all, it affects anyone who has suffered severe emotional distress; that’s what you went through after Lisa died,” she said. “The work we did, the ‘reboot’, that was all designed to mitigate the effects of your PTSD. I didn’t want to tell you that you were suffering from it, and we would be working to assuage it, because I didn’t want you concentrating on words and diagnoses, just the cure.”

“I guess that makes sense, what you suggested for me certainly worked. So, you think Cathy is suffering a similar ... what would it be, a similar stress?”

“Yes, not to the same degree, but she’s seen the end of what her long-term dreams were, her life’s ambitions have been shattered. So, with that in mind, she is looking back over her life, and trying to work out what went wrong. She sees you being faced with similar setbacks – first the loss of your dream career at the University, then the death of Lisa, but you’ve pulled yourself through. So, in her mind, if she had stayed with you, not driven you away, then her life would have worked out better. Of course, that doesn’t make any sense, as I’m sure you realize, but she’s not looking at things logically, that’s what the PTSD does. I guess I don’t need to tell you just how bad a decision it would be for you to go back to her in her current state, until she can really resolve her situation, get through the disappointments, and find a new purpose for her life, any relationship with her will end in disaster and heartbreak for both of you.”

“Yeah, I had worked out that doing anything with her at the moment would be a very bad idea,” I said.

“Now, Megan is in a similar situation, but nowhere near as severe as Cathy. She’s had a very successful career in the USA and has been invited back to Australia specifically for a new and exciting job. On the downside, there’s been at least one failed marriage that you know of, and I would suspect at least one more failed relationship. She looks at you, and now that your marriage has ended, even though you seem to be starting another relationship, she naturally starts thinking about what might have gone wrong with things between the two of you. It’s only to be expected that when the two of you are working on those duets that you worked on back in 1975, and how your relationship grew from that, she thinks about those times with you, and whether she can recreate them.

“Her issue, as far as I can guess, was that the two of you delayed having sex, making love for over twelve months, and in that time, Cathy Parsons got you back, only to dump you, and there were a few others – Janelle Ward, I think from memory – before she gave her virginity to you. In her mind, she would have wanted you to be the first woman that you made love to. Of course, there’s no way to ‘unscramble that egg’, so to speak, but I think that’s the core of her issues with you, she feels that she was somehow ‘cheated’ out of being your first, and if that had happened, things wouldn’t have gone astray with you.”